


Die for Something Beautiful

by EmmyBarrett



Category: Palaye Royale (Band)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Alternate Universe, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Past Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sexual Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:54:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23653405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmmyBarrett/pseuds/EmmyBarrett
Summary: Maria Miller has been dealing with demons since she was eight years old and thought she had finally gotten rid of them after her parents were arrested when she was sixteen. She thought she was finally free until she met her new boyfriend a year later only for him to treat her the same way. By twenty she was ready to end it all.That was until she met Emerson, she finally had gained hop for her future.But is it really possible to escape all of your demons?
Relationships: Emerson Barrett/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

I quietly entered my home not wanting to wake Jake who was sleeping on the couch of our shared home. He would be angry if woke him up from his nap, not that he needed it he was always either asleep or drinking. I had to carefully step over broken bottles and other sharp materials resting on our living room floor from the fight of the night before. It was over something I was totally wrong about. I had caught kissing another girl and he told me that if I would do my job as a girlfriend that he wouldn't have to cheat, and he's right. I decided that I would apologize once he wakes up. 

I went into the kitchen and began to cook Jake's dinner that way when he woke up he wouldn't be mad. As I was cooking I hear him wake up and walk into the kitchen. "What are you cooking me?" He asked groggily. "A T-bone steak." I replied as politely as I could so he wouldn't think I was being disrespectful. He just nodded his head in approval and went to the fridge for another beer. I took this as my chance to apologize. "I'm really sorry about last night, I was wrong and you were right." "I have been a terrible girlfriend." I told him. "Good girl, you've learned your lesson." He patted my head as he spoke. I finished his meal and served it to him on the couch with a beer. 

"I made enough money in tips today for you to be able to buy more beer." "I would've got some for you but I'm not twenty one yet." I told him. "Good job, I'll go when I finish eating." He mumbled through his full mouth. I began to clean the house while he ate his food that way he would be happy with me and maybe not get mad at me if ends up getting drunk tonight. I was upstairs cleaning our bathroom when he called for me to give his money. I brought him his money and gave him a kiss on the cheek before he walked out the door. He said he should be right back meaning he wasn't going to the bar which means he wouldn't be mean tonight. I finished up my responsibilities and went to check the time. It was 10:27 meaning he has been gone for three hours. It was a fifteen minute drive from here to the store meaning he had to of went to the bar. 

I waited up for them until about 2 AM before falling asleep. He eventually made it home around 4:30 in the morning and entered our home really loudly. I went downstairs to help him up the stairs to the bed so he didn't have to sleep on the floor. But it turns out he wasn't drunk, just angry. "Hey you ugly bitch." He spat at me at after I reached the bottom of the steps. "Are you okay?" I softly ask him." He grabs a fist full of my long black hair and pulls me up by it. "No I'm not O-fucking-kay you dumb fucking whore." He growled at me before spitting in my face. "What's wrong?"I whimper. "YOU ARE WHAT'S WRONG!" He yelled at me before slamming my head into the wall and dropping me to the ground. "You know, now I see why your parents hated you so much." He said before punching me in my face. I was used to this, my parents abused from birth until age sixteen and he had been abusing me since I was seventeen and I am now twenty. "What did I do?" I ask barely above a whisper. "You are the reason I got kicked out of almost every bar in town!" "I owe every single one of them at least three hundred dollars but because you can't seem to get a decent job." He yelled before dragging me up the stairs by my hair. Once we got up there he threw me on the bed and began ripping my clothes of. I knew from past experiences that it was better not to fight. So I just laid there and cried as he raped me. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Trigger Warnings*  
> Suicidal thoughts/actions  
> mentions of child abuse/molestation and rape  
> Self harm

It was the day after he hurt me and I hadn't slept at all. Luckily I didn't have to work today so I could just sit here if I wanted to. He left immediately after and hadn't been back since. He told me I deserved it and he was right I did. It was my fault that he couldn't afford to drink anymore and it was my fault my father had been disowned. I was a terrible daughter and girlfriend. 

My fathers family had owned a business and it was tradition that the eldest male took over after their father died. But my dad happened to be a twin so my grandfather said whoever was first to have a son would get to run the company. Well my mother had gotten pregnant two months before my aunt but I was a born a girl while my cousin was born a boy. So my uncle got to take the company. But my grandfather was so ashamed that he had a daughter as a first born that he disowned him and removed him from the family will. My father had blamed me for being a girl and he was right to. He beat and raped me almost daily for my entire childhood.

 _Why couldn't I be born a girl? Why am I such a terrible girlfriend and daughter? Why can't I do anything right? How do I manage to fuck everything up? Maybe I should just end it all._ Those thoughts repeated themselves in my head over and over again. So I decided to act on them. I went to my bathroom and grabbed my little black bag out of the cabinet. It held my blade this thing was practically my best friend. I took it and made several deep cuts along both of my wrists. None of them were deep enough to kill me, just deep enough to bleed pretty badly. I stare in the mirror for fifteen minutes at the injuries he caused before wrapping my wounds. I decided I couldn't bare to stay in this house anymore, so I got dressed and covered my injuries with make up and walked to the park.

I walked through the park enjoying the nature until I eventually found a bench where I could rest and just draw. I opened my sketchbook and just began to draw, I had no clue what I was drawing. I had began to zone out while was drawing until someone approached me. "Are you okay?" A voice broke me from my thoughts. I look up to see a man with a large hat and brown hair that went down to about his chin. He was also very nicely dressed. "Yeah, I'm fine." I lied not wanting to tell this stranger my issues that were my own fault. "That's a beautiful drawing." He complimented. I looked down to see that I had drawn a girl sitting naked in the corner of a room with her knees to her chest. "Thanks." I replied with a small smile. He stood there awkwardly while I went back to drawing. "Do you mind if I sit with you?" He asks nervously. "Uh, sure." I say not sure why he felt necessary to ask to sit on a public bench. He sits next to me and watches me draw over my shoulder. "My name's Emerson." The guy speaks up out of no where slightly scaring me. "My name's Maria." I told him. "Well Maria I was wondering if you would like to go get coffee with me?" He nervously asks me. I was about to respond when I get a message.

**From Jake**

Where are you?

You didn't get permission to leave. 

**To Jake**

I'm sorry I went to the park I'm on my way now.

"I would love to but I didn't ask my boy friend if I could leave so I have to go home." I explained to Emerson. "What do you mean you didn't get permission?" "Aren't you an Adult?" He asked me. "Well, yes I am, but....." I trailed off not really wanting to tell him the truth. "But what?" He questions further. "It's nothing." I say turning away from him. "Can I least have your number?" He asks me not pushing it further though I can tell he wanted to. "He really wouldn't like if another guy had my number." I felt really bad that I couldn't give him my number. "Just put my name in as Emmy that way he thinks I'm a girl." He tries to convince me. "He really wouldn't like it if I hid who you were." "You wouldn't be hiding it, that's my nickname so technically you wouldn't be lying." He says trying harder to convince me. "Okay." I give in and give him my number. I wave goodbye as I begin to run home and hope that Jake won't be too mad. 

I walk in the house and see Jake sitting on the couch waiting for me. "WHO THE FUCK SAID YOU COULD LEAVE!?" He screamed at me as soon as I walked in the door. "You left so I-" He cut me off by grabbing me by my hair and punching me in the mouth. "I don't care if I'm here or not you do not leave without permission." He yelled in my face before dropping me and spitting on me. "Now go make my lunch I'm hungry." He demands "Yes sir." I say before running to the kitchen. 

**Author's Note:**

> None of what Maria is being told or is thinking is true. If you are in a relationship with someone who is cheating or is abusive and is blaming it on you please do your best to find a way out. No one deserves to be treated that way.


End file.
